The Candy Diet™

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Diet regime and recipes for turning skinny bitches into “plus size” or big beautiful woman.

The Candy Diet™ can also be used by girls who are otherwise too homely to be supermodels but who still want a lazy career like modeling. The Candy Diet can help ugly girls fatten up into “plus size models”, which are easier modeling contracts to book than supermodel gigs.

Recipes:

Muffin Top Sandwich Take two non-lo-cal muffins and carefully twist off just the tops. Discard the crappy paperwrapped bases because the paper is too chewy. Liberally spread syrup on the insides of the muffin tops. Slap on some peanut butter cups. Layer with Twizzlers. Sprinkle on some M&Ms (excluding the worthless brown ones which purportedly “have no aesthetic value” ). Garnish with a dollop of cool whip and a side of candy corn (as the obligatory vegetable group).

Disadvantages: Diabetes Weight gain Elastic waistbands “Muffin Top” Genitalia canapé